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Women had a great position in the Muslim society in the past. Allaah created women for a special task to perform in this life and provided them with special characteristics that help them fulfill their duties. Whenever believing women took special care to fulfill their duty, they reached the best of grades. The history of believing women gives us the best example through the manners by which the performed their duties and tasks, thus reaching the highest of grades. Following is the story of one of the great believing woman who must be taken as an example by all women.

Asmaa`, daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, said, "Az-Zubair married me, when he had no money or servants on (the face of this) earth. He did not own any camels other than a Nadhi'h ( a camel used to transport water) and a horse. I used to feed his horse, go out for water, sow his bucket and prepare dough for bread. I did not know how to bake good bread. Women from Al-Ansar (people of Madinah) used to bake bread for me. They were good women. I used to transport date seeds, by carrying them on my head, from Az-Zubair's land that the Messenger of Allaah gave him. The land was two thirds of a Farsakh ( a Farsakh is 18 miles) away. One day, while carrying date seeds on my head, I met with the Messenger of Allaah along with two men of Al-Ansar. The Messenger called me and said to his camel: 'Ikh, Ikh,' (for the camel to bow down), to carry me behind him. I felt shy to accompany men. I also remembered how jealous Az-Zubair is, for he was the most jealous among men. The Messenger of Allaah realized that I felt shy, and left. I came to Az-Zubair and said to him: 'The Messenger of Allaah, along with some of his companions, met me while I was carrying date seeds on my head. He stopped to carry me (with him on his camel). I felt shy from him and remembered your jealousy.' He said: 'By Allaah! Your carrying date seed is worse to me than your riding with him."' Asmaa' then said, "Abu Bakr (her father) sent me a servant to take care of the horse. It was like if he freed me." [Al-Bukhari &Muslim]

Dear Sisters In Islaam:

This righteous, good woman used to serve her husband and take care of her home. She did not think that this job is demeaning, an attitude common amongst women ( and so called educated Muslim women of) today. Women of today, except the righteous few, took women of the West as their example. This woman, Asmaa`, felt so shy, that she did not ride behind the Messenger of Allaah. She did not want to anger her husband, although she was facing hardship transporting date seeds and water, feeding the horse and preparing dough. She was the daughter of As-Siddiq, Abu Bakr, the best companion of the Messenger of Allaah. She did not say, "I am the daughter of As-Siddiq and this should not happen to me." Her father was not poor. He was a master of his people. All this did not stop her from performing her duty towards her husband, loving him and caring for his feelings. Women of today are reminded with such women of the past. They are reminded with the daughters of As-Siddiq and the way she treated her husband. They are reminded with her shyness patience and her good behaviour. So we ask Allaah that Muslim women of today benefit from such examples and become like them. And also the brothers in Islaam should look upon the Prophet Muhammed for an example and try to revive his Sunnah in how to be a Muslim husband, a father, a son and other daily affairs. O Allaah please makes it easy for the believing men and women in following the straight path and forgives us of all of our sins Ameen.

Mother's advice to a daughter

Abd al-Malik said: Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother Umamah came in to her, to advise her, and said:

O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you possess these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father's wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one's husband pleases Allah.

The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.

The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.

The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

Be careful, O my daughter, of showing joy in front of him when he is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of him when he is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment, whilst the latter will make him unhappy.

Show him as much honor and respect as you can, and agree with him as much as you can, so that he will enjoy your companionship and conversation.

Know, O my daughter, that you will not achieve what you would like to until you put his pleasure before your own, and his wishes before yours, in whatever you like and dislike. And may Allah (Subhanahu wa ala) choose what is best for you and protect you. She was taken to her husband, and the marriage was a great success; she gave birth to kings who ruled after him.

This advice clearly included everything that one could think of as regards the good manners that a young girl needs to know about in order to treat her husband properly and be a suitable companion for him. The words of this wise mother deserve to be taken as the standard for every young girl who is about to get married.

Who I'd like to meet:

The true Muslim woman

She is of good character (has a good attitude towards others) and is sincere and straightforward with all people. She does not cheat, deceive or stab in the back. She is not a hypocrite. She does not speak falsely (or bear false witness). She offers sincere advice and guides others to good deeds. She keeps her promises. She has the characteristic of modesty and self-respect. She does not interfere in that which does not concern her. She avoids slandering the honor of others and seeking out their faults. She does not show off. She is fair in her judgments of others. She does not oppress others. She is fair even to those whom she does not like. She does not rejoice in the misfortunes of others.

She avoids suspicion. She restrains her tongue from malicious gossip. She avoids cursing and obscene speech. She does not make fun of anybody. She is gentle with people. She is compassionate. She strives to benefit others and protect them from harm. She eases the hardship of one who is suffering. She is generous. She does not remind the beneficiaries of her charity. She is patient. She is tolerant. She does not bear grudges or harbor resentment. She is easy-going, not harsh. She is not envious. She avoids boasting and showing off. She does not speak in an affected or exaggerated manner. She has a likeable personality. She is friendly and likeable. She keeps secrets. She is of cheerful countenance. She has a sense of humor. She tries to make people happy. She is not over-strict. She is not arrogant.

She is humble. She is modest in her dress and appearance. She pursues noble things. She is concerned about the affairs of the Muslims. She honors guests. She prefers others to herself. She measures her habits and customs against the standards of Islam. She uses the greeting of Islam. She does not enter any house other than her own without permission. She sits wherever she finds room in a gathering. She does not converse privately with another woman when a third is present. She respects her elders and distinguished people. She does not look into any house other than her own. She chooses work that suits her feminine nature. She does not imitate men. She calls others to the truth. She enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil. She is wise and eloquent in her da..wah. She mixes with righteous women. She hastens to reconcile between Muslim women. She mixes with women and puts up with their insults. She appreciates favors and is grateful for them. She visits the sick. She does not attend funerals.

Her main concern is the pleasure of Allah (SWT)

The true Muslim woman always seeks to earn the pleasure of Allah (SWT) in everything she does. So she measures everything against this precise standard, and will retain or discard any practice accordingly.

Whenever there is a conflict between what pleases Allah (SWT), and what pleases other people, she chooses what pleases Allah (SWT), with no hesitation or argument, even if it will anger other people. She does this because she knows, with her deep understanding of Islam and her own common sense, that pleasing the people is a goal that can never be achieved, and it will only bring about the wrath of Allah (SWT). The Prophet (PBUH) said:

"Whoever seeks the pleasure of Allah (SWT) at the risk of displeasing the people, Allah (SWT) will take care of him and protect him from them. But whoever seeks the pleasure of the people at the risk of displeasing Allah (SWT), Allah (SWT) will abandon him to the care of the people."

By weighing up her deeds in this precise fashion, the Straight Path will be clearly signposted for the Muslim woman. She will know what she is allowed to do and what she should avoid; her unfailing standard is the pleasure of Allah (SWT). Thus the life of the Muslim women will be free from ridiculous contradiction which have ensnared so many of those who have deviated from the guidance of Allah (SWT).

There are women whom one sees praying perfectly, but in many instances they follow their own desires and deviate from the right path. In social gatherings they involve themselves in gossip and backbiting, criticizing people, plotting against anybody they dislike, and putting words in their mouths so as to discredit them. These people are suffering from weakness of faith and a failure to understand the true reality of this holistic religion which Allah (SWT) revealed to guide mankind in all aspects of life, both public and private, so that people might seek the pleasure of Allah (SWT) by obeying His commands and emulating the behavior of the Prophet (PBUH).

There are also women who obey Allah (SWT) in some matters, but disobey Him in others, acting according to their own whims and desires. Such people are, as it were, half-Muslims, and the split personality of those who have deviated from the guidance of Islam is one of the most dangerous psychological and spiritual disorders facing modern man.

She understands the true meaning of being a servant of Allah (SWT). The true Muslim woman has the firm belief that she has been created to serve an important purpose in life, which Allah (SWT) has defined in the Qur'an. She does not go to extremes of beautification or make a wanton display of herself.

Paying attention to one's appearance should not make a Muslim woman fall into the trap of wanton display (tabarruj) and showing her beauty to anyone other than her husband and mahram relatives. She should not upset the balance which is the basis of all Islamic teaching, for the Muslim woman always aims at moderation in all things, and is on the alert to prevent any one aspect of her life from taking over at the expense of another.

She never forgets that Islam, which encourages her to look attractive within the permitted limits, is also the religion that warns her against going to such extremes that she becomes a slave to her appearance, as the hadith says:

"Wretched is the slave of the dinar, dirham and fancy clothes of velvet and silk! If he is given, he is pleased, and if he is not given, he is displeased."

Our women today, many of whom have been influenced by the international fashion houses to such an extent that a rich women will not wear an outfit more than once, have fallen into that slavery of which the Prophet (PBUH) warned and, as a result, they are trapped in the misery of that senseless enslavement to excessively luxurious clothing and accessories. Such women have deviated from the purpose for which humanity was created in this world.

One of the worst excesses that many modern Muslim women have fallen into is the habit of showing off expensive outfits at wedding parties, which have become fashion shows where competition is rife and is taken to extremes far beyond the realms of common sense and moderation.

This phenomenon becomes clearest when the bride herself wears all her outfits, which may number as many as ten, one after the other: each time she changes, she comes out and shows it off to the other women present, exactly like the fashion models in the West. It does not even occur to the women among whom this habit is common, that there may be women present who are financially unable to buy such outfits, and who may be feeling depressed and jealous, or even hostile towards the bride and her family, and other rich people. Nothing of this sort would happen if brides were more moderate, and just wore one or two outfits at their wedding parties. This is better than that extravagant showing-off which is contradictory to the balanced, moderate spirit of Islam.

No doubt the Muslim woman who has surrounded herself with the teachings of this great religion is spared and protected from such foolish errors, because she has adopted its principles of moderation.

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    Islamica's Friends Comments
Displaying 10 of 16 comments (View/Edit All Comments)

07-12-2009 9:34:44


07-04-2009 7:58:44

As-Salamu Alaikum thanks 4 the info it helped me out alot

06-16-2009 8:18:13 Customization

06-06-2009 12:50:02 Customization

05-04-2009 12:28:10

Assalam alaikum gr8 page sis :-) thx for the add

04-13-2009 8:12:56

Alsalamu Alaikom wa rahmatulliah wa barakatu
Thanks for the friends request sister!

04-10-2009 7:54:58

Assalamo Alaikom WR WB ty for the add. May Allah SWT bless you!

04-04-2009 11:55:10

Hello! Myspace Comments Asalaam aleykoum, Just passing thru to give my salaams hope all is well with you and yours.

03-31-2009 1:36:08

salam alykom.thanks for the freind request
Wafiyyah A~Rah

03-25-2009 1:16:54

As Salaamu Alaikum waRahmatullahi waBarakatuhu.Sista Islamica,i want to say shukran for the helpful posts,and shukran for being a friend! You just dont know how many times i`ve tried to send you a comment,masha`Allah! I pray all is well with you and your family,& may Allah[SWT} bless you with many Barakats for your kind acts,insha`Allah.Take care and keep in touch.Much love ya sis Wafiyyah


03-06-2009 9:23:59

As Salaam Alaykum Sister Thank You For The Sake of Allah (SWT)-Sisters Who Love Allah...Salaam

01-29-2009 3:10:54

Salaams, love love love the page, can't wait until i have more time to check it out, have a great day, salams

01-28-2009 4:28:05

shukran for the add!!!

01-19-2009 5:50:31

I am doing good, Alhumdulillah. It is freezing cold here with a lot of snow. I am married with four children. What about you?

01-18-2009 4:41:19

Asalamu Alakum... Thank you for the picture comment. How are you doing?

01-16-2009 11:43:57

As salam mualakium thanxx for the add!!
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